Flirting

Quality 0.50 · 2 views · Updated 2 months ago

Social behavior that suggests interest in a deeper relationship with the other person

title: "Flirting" type: doc version: 1 created: 2026-02-28 author: "Wikipedia contributors" status: active scope: public tags: ["sexual-attraction"] description: "Social behavior that suggests interest in a deeper relationship with the other person" topic_path: "general/sexual-attraction" source: "https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting" license: "CC BY-SA 4.0" wikipedia_page_id: 0 wikipedia_revision_id: 0

::summary Social behavior that suggests interest in a deeper relationship with the other person ::

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f7/Das_werdenSie_ja_nachher_schon_sehen.jpg" caption=""] ::

"Would you take offense if I had the gall to plant a kiss on this beautiful shoulder?" "You'll figure that out soon enough after the deed." (poster by Henri Gerbault)]]

Flirting, formally known as coquetry, is a form of social communication via body language, verbal expressions, or written language intended to evoke feelings of playful excitement and potential romantic or sexual interest. Flirting can change in intention as well as intensity, whether it is performed for short-term fun or employed with the a longer-term design of seeking a romantic or sexual relationship.

A person might flirt with another by speaking or behaving in such a way that suggests their desire to increase intimacy in their current relationship with that person. The approach may include communicating a sense of playfulness, irony, or by using double entendres.

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Jealousy_and_Flirtation.jpg" caption="Haynes King]]'s ''Jealousy and Flirtation''"] ::

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/93/Marilyn_Monroe_and_Cary_Grant_in_Monkey_Business_trailer_3.JPG" caption="Monkey Business]]'' (1952)"] ::

Etymology

The origin of the word "flirt" is unknown. The first use of the word dates to 1580—with the intransitive "flit" and the noun form—ca 1590—with the transitive "flick".

Flirt has been attributed to the French conter fleurette, meaning to woo. Fleurette, meaning small flower, was used in the 16th century in some sonnets and texts, and has since fallen out of use. This expression is still used in French, often mockingly, although the English loanword, "to flirt*",* is in the common vernacular. Flirting in the English language has the same meaning as to "conter fleurette".https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vernacular

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/woo

Historical context

During World War II, anthropologist Margaret Mead was working in Britain for the British Ministry of Information and later for the U.S. Office of War Information,{{cite book | last = Mead | first = Margaret | editor=William O. Beeman | title = Studying Contemporary Western Society: Method and Theory | publisher = Berghahn Books | year = 2004 | location = New York | pages = 145, 149 | isbn = 978-1-57181-816-4}} Mead's article, A Case History in Cross-National Communications, was originally published in {{cite book | last = Bryson | first = Lyman | title = The Communication of Ideas | publisher = Institute for Religious and Social Studies, dist. by Harper and Brothers | year = 1948 | location = New York | oclc=1488507 }} delivering speeches and writing articles to help American soldiers better understand British civilians, e.g. {{cite book | last = Mead | first = Margaret | title = The American troops and the British community | publisher = Hutchinson | year = 1944 | location = London | oclc=43965908 }} and vice versa. e.g. {{cite magazine | last = Mead | first = Margaret | title = What Is a Date? | journal = Transatlantic | volume = 10 | issue = June 1944 | date = June 1944 | oclc=9091671

Communications theorist Paul Watzlawick researched courtship behaviors between English women and North American servicemen in late- to post-WWII, finding common misunderstandings of intent. The simple act of kissing during the 'wrong stage' of the courtship often led both parties to believe the other was being too forward, too soon.

Purpose

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/SundayNewOrleansFlirt1880s.jpeg" caption="A woman flirts with a soldier by tickling him with a feather."] ::

According to social anthropologist Kate Fox, there are two main types of flirting: flirting for fun, and flirting with further intent. In a 2014 review, sociologist David Henningsen identified six main motivations for flirting: sex, relational development, exploration, fun, self-esteem, and as a means to an end. Henningsen found that many flirting interactions involve more than one of these motives.

Henningsen and Fox showed that flirting can sometimes be used just for fun. People may engage in flirting to consolidate or maintain a romantic relationship with their partner.

Human mating strategy

Many studies have confirmed that sex is a motivation for flirting. A study by Messman and colleagues demonstrated that the more one was physically attracted to a person, the higher the chances one would flirt with them.

Many people flirt as a courtship initiation method. The person flirting will send out signals of sexual availability to another, and expects to see the interest returned in order to continue flirting. Flirting can involve non-verbal signs, such as an exchange of glances, hand-touching, and hair-touching; or verbal signs, such as chatting, giving flattering comments, and exchanging telephone numbers in order to initiate further contact.

Covert and overt signaling

Human flirting can be either covert or overt in contrast to the typically overt courtship display of animals. If the main purpose of flirting is to signal interest to another person, then one might expect that the signaling would be done clearly and explicitly. An explanation for the ambiguous nature of human flirting lies in the costs associated with courtship. According to Gersick and colleagues, signaling interest can be socially costly, such as risking existing friendship or affect social reputation. The costs associated with interest signaling may be magnified in humans compared to the animal world, as the existence of language means information can circulate much further. For instance, information overheard by an eavesdropper can be spread to large social networks, thereby magnifying the social costs.

Flirting can assess whether other person might be interested in reciprocating while maintaining plausible deniability to reduce social costs. Online flirting can reduce perceived risks.

Misinterpretation

Flirting is often performed subtly, and evidence shows that people are often mistaken in how they interpret flirting behaviors. A 2015 study found that covert flirting is not detected in the majority of cases.

Without consent or implied consent by the receiving party, some flirting behavior, such as double entendres, can be viewed as sexual harassment.

Cultural variations

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/Eugen_de_Blaas_The_Flirtation.jpg" caption="''The Flirtation'' by [[Eugene de Blaas]]. A study of body language: a man flirting"] ::

Flirting behavior varies between cultures due to different modes of social etiquette, such as how closely people should stand, how long to hold eye contact, how much touching is appropriate and so forth. Nonetheless, some behaviors may be universal. Ethologist Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt discovered that women from different continents (Africa and North America) behave similarly in some ways when flirting, such as nonchalantly breaking their gaze and smiling after first staring for a prolonged period of time. In "contact cultures," such as those in the Mediterranean or Latin America, closer proximity is common, compared with cultures such as those in Britain or Northern Europe. The variation in social norms may lead to different interpretations of what is considered to be flirting.

Japanese courtesans had another form of flirting, emphasizing non-verbal relationships by hiding the lips and showing the eyes, as depicted in much Shunga art, the most popular print media at the time, until the late 19th century. In Japan, flirting in the street or public places is known as nanpa.

The fan was extensively used as a means of communication and therefore a way of flirting from the 16th century onwards in some European societies, especially England and Spain. A whole sign language was developed with the use of the fan, and etiquette books and magazines were published. Charles Francis Badini created the Original Fanology or Ladies' Conversation Fan, which was published by William Cock in London in 1797. The use of the fan was not limited to women, as men also carried fans and learned how to convey messages with them. For instance, placing the fan near the heart meant "I love you", while opening a fan wide meant "Wait for me".

In Spain, ladies used fans to communicate with suitors or prospective suitors without attracting the notice of their families or chaperons. This use was highly popular during the 19th and early 20th centuries.

Gendered roles

Main article: Dating#Gendered norms and preferences

Flirting can have gender roles. Henningsen and colleagues' study observed in 2004 that flirting with sexual intent was found to be more prominent amongst men while flirting for relationship development purposes was more often employed by women. The parental investment theory predicts in case of a risk of pregnancy with gender differences in parental investment, that females would be more selective than males and courtship would be more commonly initiated by males. In case of no risk of pregnancy this gendered effect is predicted to be reduced.

Gender egalitarian roles

Main article: Dating#Gender egalitarian norms

::figure[src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/In_the_harem_(unknown_date),_by_Vincent_G._Stiepevich.jpg" caption="Algerian]] woman flirts with a resting man while playing the [[kwitra]]"] ::

Flirting can follow gender egalitarian norms. Women initiating flirting was found increased with their sense of personal control. Among the approaches women can use to signal interest in men the most effective were directly asking for a first date or a telephone call according to a 2009 study.

References

References

  1. (2023). "Encyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior". [[Springer, Cham]].
  2. "flirt". Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
  3. (9 August 1573). "La famine, ou Les Gabéonites, tragédie prise de la Bible et suivant celle de Saül, ensemble plusieurs autres oeuvres poëtiques de Jehan de La Taille de Bondaroy...".
  4. (9 August 2018). "Les bigarrures et touches du seigneur des Accords . Avec les Apophtegmes du sieur Gaulard et les Escraignes dijonnoises. Dernière édition, reveue et de beaucoup augmentée".
  5. (9 August 2018). "Les muses incognues ou La seille aux bourriers plaine de désirs et imaginations d'amour : réimprimé textuellement et collationné sur l'exemplaire existant à la Bibliothèque de l'Arsenal à Paris ([Reprod. en fac-sim.]) / recueil de poésies satyriques de Béroalde de Verville, de Guy de Tours, de Gauchet, de Berthelot, de Motin, etc.".
  6. Larivey, Pierre de. (9 August 2018). "Les comédies facécieuses de Pierre de Larivey, champenois . A l'imitation des anciens Grecs, Latins, & modernes Italiens. A sçavoir, le Laquais, la Veuve, les Esprits, le Morfondu, les Escolliers".
  7. Watzlawick, Paul. (1983). "[[How Real Is Real?]]". Souvenir Press.
  8. "SRIC Guide to Flirting". Sirc.org.
  9. (2004). "Flirting with meaning: an examination of miscommunication in flirting interactions". Sex Roles.
  10. (2000). "Motives to Remain Platonic, Equity, and the Use of Maintenance Strategies in Opposite-Sex Friendships". Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
  11. Moore, Monica M.. (1995). "Courtship Signaling and Adolescents: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?". The Journal of Sex Research.
  12. (2014). "Covert Sexual Signaling: Human Flirtation and Implications for other Social Species". Evolutionary Psychology.
  13. Pinsky, Dina. (25 December 2023). "Mediated risk: A qualitative exploration of students' experiences flirting online". Sexualities.
  14. (1 October 2015). "Accurately Detecting Flirting: Error Management Theory, the Traditional Sexual Script, and Flirting Base Rate". Communication Research.
  15. (1 October 2008). "Why do We Flirt? Flirting Motivations and Sex Differences in Working and Social Contexts". Journal of Business Communication.
  16. (5 June 2006). "Scoring a German: Flirting with Fräuleins, Hunting for Herren". Spiegel International.
  17. Matthews, Maureen. (29 Nov 2016). "About Last Night: Where do I draw the line with flirting?".
  18. "SIRC Guide to Flirting". Sirc.org.
  19. "Ladies and their Fans". Avictorian.com.
  20. "The Language of the Fan". Spainforvisitors.com.
  21. (1972). "Sexual selection and the descent of man". Aldine.
  22. (1 January 2005). "The parental investment model and minimum mate choice criteria in humans". Behavioral Ecology.
  23. Lamont, Ellen. (23 September 2013). "Negotiating Courtship". SAGE Publications.
  24. (2011). "Breaking the rules: Personal control increases women's direct relationship initiation". Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
  25. (2009). "Women's direct opening lines are perceived as most effective". Personality and Individual Differences.

::callout[type=info title="Wikipedia Source"] This article was imported from Wikipedia and is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 License. Content has been adapted to SurfDoc format. Original contributors can be found on the article history page. ::

sexual-attraction